What if your soul urge number doesnt coincide with where you are in life

I truly want to explore my numerology this year and truly listen to who my inner self is . The accuracy of my reading is astounding and awesome for most parts so far however my birthday number is 5 and My soul number is 1 . It says I’m a leader but I’ve never ever been the one to lead by choice . I am 32 years old . I will lead only if necessary in most cases . I feel I am very much a follower, not a natural leader . Do I feel this way because I haven’t been listening to my soul? How do I become something I don’t know how to become? If anyone can give me more insite that would be awesome . Thank you!

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